“The Hidden Beliefs That Keep Us Stuck”

“What we believe about ourselves determines what we allow ourselves to become.”
— Marshall Goldsmith

“Sometimes it’s not the world holding us back — it’s the stories we believe about ourselves.”

The Subtle Saboteurs Inside Us

Have you ever promised yourself that this time, things will be different?

You’ll be more patient in meetings. You’ll finally speak up. You’ll stop reacting defensively. You’ll listen better. You’ll wake up early, write that book, call your parents, or stop procrastinating.

And yet, despite your best intentions — you find yourself repeating the same behavior, the same response, the same story.

It’s not because you’re weak. It’s not because you lack discipline.
It’s because your beliefs are silently negotiating against your change.

Marshall Goldsmith calls these internal barriers belief triggers — hidden assumptions that quietly derail even our most sincere attempts at growth. They live in the background of our minds, whispering narratives like:

• “I’ll do better tomorrow.”

• “I know I can change if I really want to.”

• “This won’t take long.”

• “I’m better than most people.”

• “I don’t need help.”

They sound harmless — even motivating — but they are the invisible hand that pulls us back into the gravitational field of our comfort zones.

What Are Belief Triggers?

Belief triggers are self-talk loops that distort our sense of reality. They make us overconfident about our capacity to change, underprepared for the effort it actually takes, and blind to our own behavioral patterns.

They are, in essence, the stories we tell ourselves to feel safe, capable, and right — even when those stories are outdated.

Change doesn’t fail because we lack goals. It fails because we don’t confront the beliefs that quietly tell us we don’t need to change.

The Most Common Belief Triggers (and How They Trap Us)

Below are some of the most pervasive belief triggers Marshall Goldsmith identifies — paired with insights, real-world examples, and tools to counter each one.

The “I Have Willpower” Belief

“I won’t give in to temptation. I’m stronger than that.”

This belief seduces us into overestimating our self-control. We assume we’ll resist distractions, emotional impulses, or unhealthy habits — simply because we “know better.”

But behavioral science tells a different story: knowing isn’t doing. Willpower is not infinite; it’s a depleting resource.

Tool: Environmental Design

Instead of relying on willpower, redesign your environment to make the right behaviors easier.

• Want to eat better? Don’t bring junk food home.

• Want to focus? Put your phone in another room.

• Want to stop checking email every minute? Schedule batch checks.

Framework Tip: From BJ Fogg’s Behavior Model: B = MAP (Behavior = Motivation × Ability × Prompt) — don’t just boost motivation; reduce friction and design better prompts.

Reflection:
When have I overestimated my willpower — and what environmental tweak could help me next time?

The “Tomorrow Will Be Better” Belief

“I’ll start tomorrow.” This is the procrastinator’s lullaby. It feels responsible because it doesn’t say never — it says later.

The danger? It defers action indefinitely. We imagine a future version of ourselves who’s calmer, more focused, more motivated — and outsource responsibility to them.

Tool: Implementation Intentions

Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer’s model teaches us to turn “I will” into “When X happens, I will do Y.”
Example: “When I finish my coffee tomorrow morning, I’ll spend 15 minutes writing.”

Technique: Time-Boxing
Put your change into the calendar. If it’s not scheduled, it’s a wish.

Reflection:
If tomorrow were truly the last day I could start, what would I do differently today?

The “This Won’t Take Long” Belief

“I’ll fix this quickly.” We often underestimate the time and consistency required for lasting change. We think one workshop will make us empathetic. One tough talk will rebuild trust. One apology will heal the wound.

Change isn’t an event — it’s a practice.

Tool: Habit Stacking (James Clear)
Attach a new behavior to an existing routine: “After I close my laptop, I’ll take 3 deep breaths.” Small, repeatable, time-bound actions create sustainable change.

Model: Kaizen (Continuous Improvement) — small, incremental steps are more powerful than big leaps.

Reflection:
What’s one change I’ve tried to rush — and what would patience look like instead?

The “I Won’t Get Tired or Stressed” Belief

“I’ll stay consistent no matter what.” This belief ignores our humanity. Fatigue, stress, and emotional overload are inevitable. When we deny them, we set ourselves up for guilt and failure.

Tool: Energy Management Framework (Loehr & Schwartz)
Manage your energy, not your time. Balance physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy. Build rituals for renewal — not just productivity.

Reflection:
How can I design my days to replenish energy rather than just spend it?

The “I Am Above Average” Belief

“I’m better than most people at this.” We all fall prey to the “illusion of superiority.” Research shows most people rate themselves above average in everything from driving to ethics to empathy — which, statistically, can’t be true.

This belief blocks humility and learning — the very qualities required for change.

Tool: Feedback Loops
Ask for feedback not as a threat, but as data. Use Goldsmith’s famous “Feedforward” technique: instead of asking “What did I do wrong?” ask “What can I do better next time?”

Reflection:
Who do I trust enough to tell me the truth about how I show up?

The “I Can Do This Alone” Belief

“I don’t need help.” Our culture glorifies independence. But transformation is rarely solo work. We grow faster and deeper in community, with accountability and reflection.

Tool: Accountability Partners
Share your goal with someone who will both support and challenge you.

Model: The Johari Window — what others see in us that we can’t see ourselves expands our self-awareness.

Reflection:
Whose presence could make my growth journey more honest, compassionate, and real?

The “My Situation is Different” Belief

“That advice might work for others, but my case is unique.” This belief creates exceptionalism — the idea that our circumstances exempt us from common rules of change.

It protects ego but blocks growth. Because when we think we’re “different,” we stop learning from what works.

Tool: Pattern Recognition Journaling
Track recurring behaviors and triggers. Seeing your own data over time reveals that patterns are rarely as “unique” as they feel.

Reflection:
What patterns keep showing up for me, even when the context changes?

Frameworks & Models to Help Overcome Belief Triggers

Here are some proven frameworks that strengthen self-awareness and help dismantle belief barriers:

1. Immunity to Change Model (Robert Kegan & Lisa Lahey)

   • Maps the competing commitments and hidden fears that block change.

   • Ask: “What am I unconsciously protecting myself from by not changing?”

2. The Ladder of Inference (Chris Argyris)

   • Explains how we create beliefs: we select data, make assumptions, form conclusions, and act.

   • Practice “ladder awareness” — step down your own ladder before reacting.

3. Growth Mindset Framework (Carol Dweck)

   • Replace “I’m bad at this” with “I’m not there yet.”

   • Belief shifts begin when we view effort as progress, not proof of inadequacy.

4. Reflective Practice Journaling

   • Daily reflection using prompts: “What triggered me today? What belief was behind that?”

5. Mindfulness and Cognitive Defusion (ACT Therapy)

   • Observe thoughts without becoming them. “I’m having the thought that I can’t change” is different from “I can’t change.”

The Real Enemy of Change Isn’t Laziness — It’s Illusion

Belief triggers don’t shout — they whisper. They reassure us, protect us, lull us into the comfort of our own narratives.

But beneath those narratives lies the raw, fertile soil of possibility. The moment we notice our belief triggers — we reclaim agency. Because awareness is the first act of freedom.

Reflective Questions for You

• What belief do you most often use to delay or avoid change?

• How does that belief protect you — and what might it be costing you?

• What would happen if you replaced that belief with curiosity?

• Who could you invite to hold you accountable, kindly but firmly?

• What’s one small change you could make today — not tomorrow — that reflects who you want to become?

Final Thought

In the end, change isn’t just about doing something different — it’s about believing something new. When we begin to notice the quiet stories guiding our choices, we reclaim the power to rewrite them. That’s where growth begins: not in the grand gestures, but in the small, courageous moments of awareness that whisper, “Maybe I don’t have to be this version of me anymore.” The hidden beliefs that once held us back can become the very catalysts for transformation — if we’re brave enough to face them, question them, and choose differently.

Marshall Goldsmith writes, “What got you here won’t get you there.”
But perhaps the deeper truth is: What you believe about yourself determines whether you ever leave “here” at all.

So the next time you feel stuck, don’t just ask, “What do I need to do differently?”
Ask instead, “What do I need to believe differently?”

That’s where real change begins — not in your calendar, but in your mind.